This morning I spent a few moments reflecting on how my life could be easier.
Humans, we like to over-complicate things. Our minds love to obsess over details and calculate the incalculable.
Recently, learning to follow my intuition has been a positive step in the direction of making life easier and infinitely more simple. I can feel a strong ‘yes’ or ‘no’ within myself. I don’t need to understand the ‘why’; I simply need to trust.
As I was journaling, a thought popped into my head of one way my life way was made easier this past year.
A bit of backstory here: I’ve been traveling this weekend through Panama City, Panama. The last time I was here two years ago, I was working a job I loved with a passion.
This job has been on my mind a lot while here, as many memories come back to me and moments are relived.
That’s not the only reason it’s been on my mind, however.
Last fall, I learned that I had been fired from this job. (“asked not to return”)
It was a heartbreak I hadn’t experienced in a long time, a shot to the ego that came out of nowhere. The loss inside me was (and is) a gaping hole.
Without going into details, the questions around this situation remain unanswered. It’s unclear to me how or why this happened, what I did so wrong, and why I wasn’t told sooner.
If I wanted my life to be easier, then I got it. Choosing between this job, which would require summers abroad, or traveling with my partner, would be a challenging decision. I’m not sure it would be a clear yes or no, since there is so much to love in each choice.
Now, I don’t have to make that choice. It was made for me.
Does my ego hurt? Absolutely. Does my mind still try to sort out every detail, picking apart what could have been? Yes, yes, yes.
In truth, the how and the why don’t matter.