Feeling like Myself (Slice of Life: Day 4)

Last night all my emotions came spilling out of me. This week finally overwhelmed me to the point of exhaustion. My mind, heart, and spirit cried out to me, feeling powerless and incapable. I wasn’t feeling like myself.

What do I mean by that, ‘feeling like myself’?, I wondered as I wrote in my morning journal. As I created an image of myself in my head, I pictured someone who wants to explore, be social, create, and express. This version of myself is alive, wild, and free.

After a week of evening masters classes and another busy week following, I have not wanted to do any of these things. Instead, I’ve felt like I’m in hibernation mode. I want to sleep, stay inside, zone out, and be alone. These feeling and actions seems unfamiliar, strange, and unwanted.

I had to stop this morning and ask, Is there anything wrong with this version of myself?

As I processed through it, I realized that of course, no, there is nothing wrong with taking a break and expressing another side of me. There is a yin to my yang personality which is allowed to come out once in a while.

I think back to the pendulum analogy of balance. As it swings to one side, it must swing just as far to the other. In the last two weeks, I’ve pulled that pendulum quite far up to one side, of fast-paced action and energy. My body is telling me that it needs to swing higher up the other way, to calm recovery. My resistance is the cause of my emotional overload. Instead, I now choose to be accepting of this flow, allowing my mind, body, heart, and spirit to naturally balance themselves out.

7 thoughts on “Feeling like Myself (Slice of Life: Day 4)

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  1. I’ve been feeling a little bit like you lately. I’m not so keen to leave my classroom and eat with my lunch buddies, for example. I take a walk around the school, or at least I try to, during morning recess because I need the fresh air, but this is a deliberately solitary activity. I think sometimes we do need to hibernate and let whatever is happening inside of us wash out in order to create a different version of ourselves. BTW, I hope you enjoyed your trip to my birth country, Cuba!

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    1. Thanks for commenting! I like the way you described it ‘wash out’. Yes!
      Cuba was incredible! I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to travel there for the time we had. A beautiful place with a fascinating history.

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  2. I loved your question. Sometimes I think we create a version of who we think we should be, who others expect us to be, but that is so unrealistic. We are who we are.

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  3. “Instead, I now choose to be accepting of this flow, allowing my mind, body, heart, and spirit to naturally balance themselves out.”

    Precisely! This line really spoke to me and I think is something that more of us need to realize.

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  4. Your post connected to my life to me because my OLW this year is balance. I needed this reminder right now feeling overwhelmed myself. I just need to be patient as the pendulum swings. Thanks

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