Last night all my emotions came spilling out of me. This week finally overwhelmed me to the point of exhaustion. My mind, heart, and spirit cried out to me, feeling powerless and incapable. I wasn’t feeling like myself.
What do I mean by that, ‘feeling like myself’?, I wondered as I wrote in my morning journal. As I created an image of myself in my head, I pictured someone who wants to explore, be social, create, and express. This version of myself is alive, wild, and free.
After a week of evening masters classes and another busy week following, I have not wanted to do any of these things. Instead, I’ve felt like I’m in hibernation mode. I want to sleep, stay inside, zone out, and be alone. These feeling and actions seems unfamiliar, strange, and unwanted.
I had to stop this morning and ask, Is there anything wrong with this version of myself?
As I processed through it, I realized that of course, no, there is nothing wrong with taking a break and expressing another side of me. There is a yin to my yang personality which is allowed to come out once in a while.
I think back to the pendulum analogy of balance. As it swings to one side, it must swing just as far to the other. In the last two weeks, I’ve pulled that pendulum quite far up to one side, of fast-paced action and energy. My body is telling me that it needs to swing higher up the other way, to calm recovery. My resistance is the cause of my emotional overload. Instead, I now choose to be accepting of this flow, allowing my mind, body, heart, and spirit to naturally balance themselves out.